bottleneck

i have always written for comfort. it has been my therapy. i thought blogging would be a good outlet but it turned out i felt so restricted that i can't even write whatever i want to write. first and foremost because it's out there - anybody and everybody can read what i wrote. second, i'm so desperate to write something interesting - i mean, interesting enough so that other people will READ my blog. how lame is that? afraid to write something coz people might read it and yet also afraid that nobody is reading my blog!

plus, i dunno, for the longest time, i thought i have to chronicle my life through my blog. if something interesting happened, i have to write about it - complete with photos to show off for it. but sometimes for some reason i don't have the photos yet or i want to arrange them so that it remotely looks interesting that a few months have already past and yet i haven't posted whatever moment in my life i want to show to the world. and by then, it already feels stale and so i have a bottleneck of moments in my life i would have already shared but haven't and i don't know whether to just forget about the whole thing and start fresh or continue this pathetic cycle of trying to impress people by showing off where i've been to or what i've done...


mmmm...... let's see...