i have a lot to talk about i don't even know where to begin. i really should get a laptop. i know it's just a lame excuse but my bf uses the computer a lot that i feel i can't use it as often as i like or when i like. but like i said, it's just an excuse.

just a brief list of what i've been up to...

went to UK for 3 and a half weeks.

absolutely love the place! i'm in love with it. i didn't even mind that we only had a day and a half of sunshine throughout the whole trip. i actually liked the weather, except when it rained so hard. i liked that although it was gloomy, it never really rained (i mean, except that one time), and it wasn't as cold as i expected (i brought 3 jackets with me that i thought i was gonna use all at the same time all the time). i liked that even when it felt more being in a foreign land that when i was in nz, it didn't make me feel foreign. i didn't get stared at and didn't hear any rude, racism remark either. we stayed for a week in and around london and the place is just buzzing. it was ok for a holiday but i definitely wouldn't want to live there. i can't even walk and extend my arm without poking somebody. i saw gollum, i mean, andy serkis in london. i know it's not very exciting but it was surreal when i saw him coz he was just walking along the busy street like the rest of us. i lost my bag with brand new pair of boots inside and my cp charger. as bummed as i was about losing my boots, it was better than if i lost my passport.


watched alicia keys in concert

it was absolutely brilliant! gosh! i haven't shouted that hard in my entire life. honest! she's just amazing. i love her! jordin sparks was with her and she's sweet.


went up the sky tower in auckland

and never ever will go up there again!


first nz personal development assessment

very interesting!


2nd christmas in nz

it's boring. christmas here is boring. even up to the day, i didn't feel the christmas spirit. it's just not the same as filipino christmas.


more detailed stories on any of those updates later.

i just had my first full body massage ever and it was wonderful!

growing up, i was a constant visitor of our local hilot coz i'm constantly falling off some thing or just sprained or strained a muscle. most of the time the experience was not pleasurable. i arched, twisted, turned, whined and ached all over but it healed me at the first instant.

the first professional massage i had was ok but also a bit painful.

i've always wanted to have a proper massage since starting work coz something's always aching or stiff one after another. my bf tries his best to massage me but sometimes he's also tired himself.

it took me a while to actually book an appointment, for several reasons: a. don't know which one to book, b. anxious (as i always am about everything) about it being painful.

but the pain on my shoulder's been bugging me and i think i really deserve a massage this time after working 8 days straight and 11 hrs in one of those days. i had two clinic in mind and i went to the one pretending to browse their shop first. the shop assistant was so friendly that i booked an appointment right there and then. it just had a really good vibe.

even so, i was still anxious. shop assistant is not the one doing the massage. what if it's uncomfortable? anyway, it was booked so i have to go.

we had a brief interview first. she asked me about health conditions and any medications i'm taking and what i expected to achieve from the massage. i signed a consent form that i know the procedures of the massage and that i'm informed that i can stop the massage any time i want to.

after that we went upstairs where the clinic is. it's a small room on the corner of the yoga hall. she left me to undress and went back when i was ready. she used lavender massage wax. it smelled really nice. it was slightly different from what i expected. their pamphlet said we can choose but it was what i was gonna choose anyway so it doesn't matter. indian/ethnic music was playing.

she started with my right back and shoulder. that's where i told her i was having problems with. she took her time and it felt really gentle and firm. she asked me if i was comfortable with the pressure and was always conscious that i am relaxed and comfortable. i noticed that she didn't lift her hand, if she didn't have to, even when she's walking from one side to another of the massage table. that felt nice, for some reason. felt safe, taken care for, and warm. she said my shins were so tight and asked if i walk or run a lot. i said i walk a lot and always on my feet at work. i was a little self conscious when she came to my feet and hands. they were cold and sweaty, like always. she asked first if it was ok for her to touch my feet and i said yes even though i was feeling self-conscious about it. when she asked me, i got the feeling that it was just maybe privacy or some sort of concern for some people. i was glad i said yes coz it felt nice. warmed my feet definitely and i didn't feel like she was turned off or disgusted with my sweaty feet. she did wash her hand and it's surprising how it still warm right after washing it. when she massaged my hands, she said i have very soft hands. i was flattered. i always knew i have soft hands but ladies here often have soft hands so it's nice that she thinks it is soft, nz standard.

and it was over. it was a good length. i definitely like the full body massage more than just 30 minutes. it just feels right.

i will definitely be back. i'm hoping to make it a more regular thing. if i can indulge on one thing for myself, i'd do this.

i'm near 30 and i'm thinking of doing some changes when i reach the big 3-0. regular body massage would be one of those.

the weather is nice, the day turned out way better than i expected, i was happy, smiling, serving each customer with utmost enthusiasm and then i served mum and son.

"hello!" i said.
*blank stare*
"hi, can i serve?" i asked again.
*she finally snaps back to earth*
"yeah, sure," she said.
*goes round my side of the counter*
beep! beep! *scans products*
"how much is this button?" she asked.
"mmm..." *looks at the screen*
"$3.99"
"and the button?"
"$2.49"
"no, that's not right. it's on special. it has a yellow sign up there." she argued.
"i'll just check the brochure if it's on special," i offered.
*flips through the brochure*
"doesn't look like it's on the brochure," i said, more talking to myself than to her.
*scans brochure again*
"no, it's not on the brochure," this time talking to her.
"but it has a sign up there," she insisted
"ok, i'll just check upstairs," i said, picking up the phone to call the craft department.
*all the time before that, her son was thumping his fist on the counter and she's sighing loudly*
"no, don't worry about it. we've waited so long up there and we've waited down here. seriously, you need some shaking up. you should tell your manager to give you a raise you should can at least smile."
*i smiled*
"see? first smile for hours in here, because i cracked a joke." *she actually said a few more after that but i can't remember exactly what she said anymore*
finally...
"i'll just get those. what's the name of your manager?" i told her.
"i'll email her. i'll tell her that you ladies need to be shaken up, give you a raise."
"do you know our email address?" i asked, ready to give her our website. if she'll email our boss for a raise, why not?
"no, but i'll get it. i'll look it up." she seemed serious.
walking away now, she said, "thank you for smiling."

i smiled.

one year and 5 months, i've never really felt home sick until now.

coming home from work, knowing that i will be alone (again) and only have tidying the lounge and watching tv to pass the time, i felt lonely.

i used to feel guilty when people ask me if i'm homesick and i say yes, even if deep inside i don't really. i thought i must either be really brave or really detached, from people and from real feelings.

but now that i am by myself for 4 days, i am lonely.

so i guess if i didn't feel sad or homesick before, it's because i didn't feel like i was not 'home'. even when i left home, i am still home - only this time home with martin. i miss him terribly.

the good thing is, i have all the time to tidy the house. :-)

hay. visitor visa, embassies, consulates, requirements, policies and bl**dy going anywhere with philippine passport.

so i thought it was all in the bag with my visitor visa to ireland coz a.) UK granted me one, b.) it's just for a day, c.) i already have *albeit very short* immigration history. i was so wrong.

got the refusal letter yesterday. i had such delay reaction this time. i got it early in the morning and i felt nothing, like oh well kind of feeling like it doesn't matter. then later in the day , i can't believe that they actually refused my application. i gradually got there in the end - annoyed and tired. by the evening, i was frustrated.

the reasons? financial documents were deemed insufficient or incomplete, no clear link to the reference and incomplete documentation. first of all, if UK thinks i have enough savings to spend 3 weeks as tourist there, i should think it's also enough to spend one day in ireland. i was a bit confused with the 'no clear link to reference'. we are visiting my bf's grandfather. we have a letter from him stating that he knows me to be his grandson's partner and that we're welcome to stay with him during the dates specified. how much clearer can that be? as for insufficient documentation, well, duh! you'd think if they found the two other reasons then that means my
documents are indeed insufficient.

i called the irish consulate office today expecting to be annoyed and frustrated even more but i was so surprised how good that mary girl is (she's the visa section staff). first of all, when i told her the purpose of my call, she was thoughtful and started to tell me what the website have already told me so i cut her off and told her i already know about the appeal procedures, i just wanted to know if she can clear things with me. she apologized that she really has no say about it but strongly suggested that i appeal the decision coz she was even confused why my application was refused. she swears she sent all the documents i sent her. she gave me the email address of the visa section in dublin and told me to ask them if they need additional information. she also assured me that if i apply from here but have already gone to UK before a decision was made that i can get the visa from the irish embassy there. i also don't have to submit my passport with my appeal documents until it's approved.

it was way better than what i imagined the conversation would be. in my head i was imagining she'd just say no to everything and say sorry but she can't help me. even when it's the worst experience i've had with visa application yet, she still is in my good books. :-)


x-x-x-x

a few days before i got the refusal letter, i dreamt that my application was approved and that worried me. you see, i have this really bizarre thing with dreams where if it's a really real one, you know, like none of those im flying or being chased by monsters stuff, especially if it's something happening to me or concerning me recently, what happens in my dream is the reverse of what it would be in real life.

so bizarre.

now my bf is asking me to dream that he lost in the rps tournament. hehe.


x-x-x-x

he left this morning to go to canada to join the rock paper scissor tournament. he's staying there for 11 days. because of all that hulabaloo about the refusal of my visa application, we didn't get as much cuddle time as i wanted to. *sigh*

it's official, i'm going to see alicia keys in december! yoohoo!

so my quest for visitor visa application is not yet over. to be able to visit martin's grandfather in ireland even for a day, i have to apply yet for another visa.

although it seems like too much work for what it's worth, i have to provide every single requirements that they asked.

what's different this time is that whenever i called the consulate office, somebody picks up the phone at the first instance and answers my questions clearly and you don't have to pay a toll fee either. but, i also have to have a bank cheque drafted to pay for the visa fee which i have never done before.

fortunately, transactions with kiwibank is so easy and straightforward that i was in and out of the branch in the same time it would have taken me to post a letter. brilliant!

all was going great. i got all my original documents back in 3 days. the downside though is that the consulate office still have to forward my application to ireland, even if i'm only applying for one-day visit.

and.. hope it doesn't affect the processing time but the staff from the consulate office forgot to make a copy of all my bank statements so the ireland office emailed her to ask me to send copies of my bank statements for the last 6 months. *sigh*

haven't heard from them yet. hopefully they have already approved my visa and is on it's way here.

so i've been at my job for almost 9 months. sometimes it's hard, sometimes it's boring, sometimes it's annoying but for the most part it's fun.

my DM said we got 97% rating from a mystery shopper and for my part i got 100%. that really made my day. imagine getting a perfect rating as a sales staff! i wondered what i did, who that customer was and was completely blown by it. it was a pretty good rating our store manager decided to print a copy of the result for all of us to see. man... i am really proud.

so i read the mystery shopper assessment report complete with all the questions and criteria. i was hugely disappointed that for my 100% rating, all i really did was smiled and acknowledged the customer who rated me. bummer. i mean, i know it's still an important part of customer service but i expected to read that i really did something great, like answered her questions expertly or went out of my way to meet her needs. well, i guess it's a start.

sometimes it's hard...

it's physical work. i've never done any real physical work before. i've always done computer-related work or paper-work. now, i have to lift rolls of rugs or metal beds, move bins/bays around, push trolley-full, bin-full of things around and other shop-related work. i also have to climb ladders to put or take things on and off shelves, which is not a bad thing... only i'm afraid of heights. aside from the physical aspect, i have never worked in retail before. so i not only have to struggle with the job expectations but also have to adopt to a totally different culture.

the first few months were really hard and confusing. i was assigned at the homewares department where i have to sell and talk to customers about duvet and valances and whatnot. we don't have those kind of stuff in the philippines so naturally i was at a loss.

aside from being unfamiliar with the products we sell, i also have to struggle with the accent and slang of kiwi people. thankfully for me, i find that part entertaining. where we say thread, they say cotton, where we say fabric, they say material.

sometimes it's annoying...

i find it really annoying when things get really messy. i understand that you can't stop customers from wanting to look at the products and feel it. but... do they really have to be rude and lazy? rude as in not thinking that sales assistant are also just human who gets tired and irritated having to tidy and refold and repackage every hour. i mean, is it too much to ask that they at least put it back the way they've taken it out? do they really have to take out every single item on the shelf when there's already one displayed for them to see? sometimes it makes me even more annoyed thinking that maybe they do that because we're not a high end shop. i often check out other shops selling the same products that we do and i notice that customers don't mess things in those "posh" shops. i just wish customers will be more respectful of the sales assistants and the next customer. the less time we spend tidying things, the more time we have to actually assisting them.

sometimes it's boring.

when it's really quiet and all we do is tidy, it can get a little boring. it's very rare though. but still, it can be boring.

for the most part, it's fun.

i'm also lucky to work with nice people. you do get the odd one once in a while but as a whole, everybody's really nice and friendly.

we may get a few rude and fussy customers but we get more friendly ones. i particularly like the sweet old ladies. the ones who are happy just because you took the time to assist them and ask them how their day is going. some will tell you detailed account of their morning or day, some will show photos of their grandkids or them when they were young or grandkids classmates, some will gossip, some will just be happy talking about the weather.

no matter how different it is from anything i've done before, i am happy with my job. i do get a few rude customers and one even asked me if he can speak to someone who "speaks english" but in balance, i also get some really good ones who appreciate the service i've done for them.

that's all in a day's work.

i wish i could have been there. i only learned about it when i checked bianca's blog. i can't believe my sister didn't tell me. i know i couldn't really do anything about it even if she told me but still... she knows how crazy i am about the group!

anyways, shock over.

i am now on eheads reunion concert youtube videos overload mode. i'm watching every single (decent) videos there is until i'm satisfied.

brings back a lot of memories.

black phase. not in a bad or rebellious way. just all of a sudden black seems the only colour i'd want to wear (tshirt-wise) but also not in a gothic kind of way. i did have other colours in my wardrobe but black was definitely the most dominant. the grungier the better. black shirt; faded, torn jeans; chuck taylor shoes with matching silver jewelries - skull or snake rings, skeleton pendant, earring (back then just having one is cool enough, other body piercings have not yet become fashionable). i myself horded lots and lots of silver rings and necklaces. i've never even worn some of them.

groupie. my long time crush in high school was in a band. period.

although they didn't really play eheads songs (just coz they think rivermaya is cooler, only maybe to wind us girls up) we still went to every 'gig' and battle of the bands they were in. the sound system was crackly, you can barely understand what they're singing about (unless you know the song) and they didn't win anything but it's the moral support that counts. plus it still so damn cool to see your crush on stage (even when he didn't decide to wear his hair long until college and by then it just looked... er... unclean).

UP. all the members of eraserheads went to the University of the Philippines, where i wished i could have gone to also but as luck (or lack of it) would have it, i didn't. i passed the exam, i qualified for stfap or stufap or whatever scholarship system it was but still, i didn't. just because... well, because my father thought it wasn't a good idea to send me so far away to attend college. all the effort to keep me close to home didn't work. look where i am now. not only is it a very prestigious university, it is also where my crush will be studying! i already had daydreams of us bumping into each other along the halls of the math building or sharing a ride on the ikot and him finally realizing that he is so madly in love with me and was just pretending so our friends wouldn't tease us. *sigh*

eheads music. i swear i used to be a whitney houston-singing-vanilla-ice-dancing fan but ever since i heard eheads music, i was transformed. i still sing but instead of dancing, i head-banged. that's what rockers and fans do. or they stage dive. or jump round and round in circles until they bumped another hyped up fan doing the same thing and they're not happy and they start fighting or pushing each other guising it as head-banging to the music.

i can still remember my very own eheads concert experience. i was in college. i've always wanted to see them live but they never came to my hometown and i always missed them when they're playing somewhere else. so when they finally decided to do a concert in legaspi, i knew i wouldn't let that opportunity pass. and rightfully so too. coz they disbanded shortly after that. good thing, there was also another girl in my boarding house who's also crazy about them (and yes, she also wears the same black uniform). a few days before the concert, there was a typhoon. we weren't sure if they will still push it through coz of the black outs and some fallen trees and electrical posts along the roads but we didn't hear any news saying otherwise so we decided to still give it a go. we knew we would be staying in dark boarding house and would have to carry a torch on our way home but the heck with that! this is eheads we're talking about. the main entrance to the auditorium was already crowded when we arrived. we pushed our way through the crowd until we were just behind the big entrance door. we waited. a few hours or so later, they opened and people rushed in. we were pushed from all directions but we pushed in return, elbowed and stepped on other's shoes/feet and we were finally inside. among the first 50, i think. the glass door on the other side smashed from the pressure of people wanting to get in. it was crazy. we found a good spot. we decided to be safe and chose the upper bleachers. it's not our first rock band concert and we know what happens to those people down below. we were comfortably seated and people are still pouring in. excitement was in the air. the lights went out. the crowd went wild. there was chanting, calling out for eheads. and then the screams. you hear the scream first and you know somebody's spotted someone. and there they were. in the flesh.

gooseflesh. screams. and we were all up on our feet. and never sat down until the end. admittedly, eli is not the best live singer but the music was great, the band was the best and it was an experience i will never forget. near the end of the concert, we were all holding hands, swaying to the song. during that brief moment, it didn't matter who you were or where you came from. what matters was that we were all there for the love of the eraserheads.

x-x-x


i hope ely and the rest of the band is doing well. eraserheads will forever be the band that started it all.

after a few frustrating moments with me trying to contact the entry clearance officer and her trying to contact me and sounding a tad unenthusiastic the second time she got my answerphone, we finally got to speak to each other.

it was a quick, informal interview which circled around how i got here and why. it guess it was to establish that i came here and is staying here legally. although i didn't have any strong reasons to come back, meaning i don't have own any property, no relatives and although employed is not earning too much that i would consider going back if i do intend to stay in UK, i do have reasons to stay with Martin. So since he is a British citizen, he (just like before) acted as my "good moral character" reference. I guess it made sense that Martin would be responsible for me and once she was satisfied (with a letter from Martin plus a copy of his passport's biopage), i got my UK visitor visa in less than a week.

i have to say, they are quick and pretty straight forward. i feel particularly pleased thinking that she might have gone the extra mile calling me after office hours assuming (rightly) that i'm not able to answer my phone while working. kudos to the UK High Commission in Wellington!

just a suggestion, it would be helpful if the website specifies the time to call if you want to be connected to someone about your visa application, seeing that we have to contact an 0900 number that charges $3.50 per minute. because i didn't know what time to call, i waited for the clearance officer to call me until 4:45pm before calling the visa section only to be told that i should have called between 9:00am to 3:00pm. aside from that, it's all good.

lately, major life changes have happened to my friends and not one of them bothered to say a brief hello and oh, have i told you i - gave birth to a beautiful baby girl or finally got married to my on again off again boyfriend of 8 odd years. i feel left out. i know i am not big on sharing every little news myself but this were not just little news, it's like oh-my-god news.

at least i can always count on good 'ol friendster to update me (when i do happen to check every one of my friend's profile).

i remember when i was in elementary i have lots of friends. friends whom i share secrets with, laugh with, play with and spend weekends with. i remember being really thoughtful too. i often do little things for them. i gave them gifts and cards during their birthdays, made lots of valentine cards, christmas cards and wrote poems for them. and during those times, i had lots of friends.

but then i grew up, got burnt once or twice by friends and i changed. i no longer took time to write poems for them, i not only stopped making cards, i can't even remember buying them one for their bday and rarely took time to do anything with them.

i've always wanted to have that best friend who knows me - inside out. no inhibitions, no secrets. but i find it hard to open up. at the back of my head, i always think sooner or later, they will betray my trust. and that scares me. scares me to open up and let somebody close.

so yeah, ok, maybe i shouldn't whinge about my friends not letting me in on what's happening with their lives either. fair enough.

i just....

miss the old times.

so as i was contemplating whether i should have included my biometric appointment booking confirmation notice with my application (it's not stamped but it shows i did have a booking appointment), somebody from the immigration tried to contact me but i wasn't able to answer my phone so she just left a message. she said she'll try to call me again later in the day. she might have been busy so she wasn't able to call me back. fair enough. i figured it's my day off today anyway so i'll just give them a call. tough luck for me, i couldn't understand her name so when the receptionist took my call, he couldn't help me coz i didn't know the name of the person who called me. i mean, come on, how could i expect him to help me, what with their 200 something number of staff. surely i was asking for too much. in fairness to him, he offered to take my name and contact number to pass it on to staff in case somebody knows something or somebody or whatever.

so the wait continues.

xxx

i decided screw it. i'm not letting one phone call ruin my day off. i'm just gonna carry on with my day, do whatever i want, go wherever i want and just take everything as it comes.

so i went out, posted gifts and things, went to the supermarket and now home again. the good thing is, i was actually really planning to stay home and do some of my craft projects so now that my 'out-of-the-house' obligations are done, i can just sit back and wait for the call while still carrying on with my plans. sweet.

xxx

i'll try calling them later today again. not the reception number but the 0900 number. it's gonna cost me $3.25 per minute but it is indeed the visa information number and maybe i should have called that the first time. either way, they might be able to help me there than the first number i called.

after 4 years, martin is going back home to england and this time with me in tow. i'm sure it's going to be fun but as usual, going somewhere outside philippines for me means applying for a visa.

like the first time i applied for nz visitor visa, the requirements listed on the british website seems pretty straightforward - i just need to prove that i am a genuine tourist (meaning i will not work or stay there illegally) and that i have sufficient fund to support my stay.

although just this early, the website is already contradicting itself. it says, no personal visit will be entertained so i need to post my application but on the online form, asked how i want to lodge my application, the only option is 'in person'. it also says i should include the stamped biometric appointment confirmation form with my application and supporting documents. all is good with that if they gave me any stamped form when i had my biometric data taken. but they didn't. oh well. let's just hope for the best.

yes, i am trying to write again. it's been a while i don't even know where to begin or what to say.

first things first. as i was reading my own blog one boring evening, i found out that somebody actually read my blog aside from my bf. (Hello Kiran!). i know it is a little bit silly to be so thrilled but i am. so much so that it inspired me to blog again. i mean, i didn't really stop, i just got distracted.

distracted by work. yes, i finally found a full-time job in nz. i now work as a sales assistant for an international home, crafts and textile store. while doing his christmas shopping, martin went there in an off-chance he might find something for me. he didn't find me a christmas gift but he did find me a job. :-) it's not something i would have thought i would do. not because i didn't like retail but because i thought i would be rubbish at it. why, you ask? well, let's just say i am not a people person. mind you, i'm not mean, rude or unfriendly in any way. quite the contrary, if i may say so myself. but i just lack the gift of gab. i don't do small talk (which seems to be quite common here), i am not your perky brighten-your-day kind of person and i am painfully shy. all those combined and you've got somebody who might be best working at home (which i do consider very very seriously - just don't have the proper job nor the proper company). not to get side-tracked again, yes, i am now working as a retail assistant. i guess it's not the right time to vent about impossibly rude customers just yet. so will save that for later. stay tuned for that. :-)

xxxxx


aside from work, what am i up to lately (or more specifically, what do i plan to do but haven't really done yet)?

well, martin bought me a guitar. i know i promised i would practise everyday but it gets in the way of watching tv! i mean, come on, i do deserve to rest, don't i? (excuses, haha!)

there's also the endless promise to start scrapbooking. i always liked the idea and i've managed to do a few scrapbook pages but between you and me, i haven't really done it before. (ssshhhh) i have a couple books, a few magazines, lots of scrapbook pages and crafty things. but why oh why can't i get cracking? well.... i do have a problem with cropping photos. i don't like doing it... so... that's a tinsy bit of a problem.

painting or drawing is also one of the things i'd want to start doing again. not that i ever was really good at it but i remember really being into it as a kid and it's always been a dream of mine to paint a lovely landscape, one that would make you sigh with contentment. well, that's always a goal i can work at. in the meantime, i just have to get over being afraid to make mistakes and stop being afraid to waste art materials. (they don't come cheap but they're there to use not to store).

blogging, of course. i'm always torn about being too honest or being too general. like do i pour my heart and soul into what i write or do i write about something remotely interesting but somehow not too personal to avoid from offending people or saying something embarassing? i've heard of people fired from their job because they said something nasty about their boss or their firm. i also know that some recruiting officer uses the net to investigate their applicants background. hmmm... what to do?

and aside from all of that, i am also busy coping with being in a different country, making new friends, adapting a kiwi accent, deciding what to cook for my packed lunch, living healthy and not spending too much.

i have to admit, i have always dreaded valentine's day. it is one of those occasions meant for people with partners, those who are dating and those who are lucky enough to be single and yet feel pretty special coz somebody sends them flowers or asks them on a date or whatever valentiney things people do. i never had that - ever. i even had that moment in my life when even when i was sick to my stomach (literally) of my boyfriend, i was still praying... 'god, oh god, let's not break up until we've had our valentine's thing yet'.

in time i learned to just go with the flow. avoid malicious questions and carry on with my life - after all, it's just one day in a year.

then i learned to accept that, ok, i might not have a date on valentine's day but i can still celebrate. i treat myself - i eat out, i shop, i do whatever it is that pleases me - at the end of the day, i feel good without the paranoia of dating and relationship.

i remember my friend lems once apologized to me for not being able to send me a flower or taking me out on a date for valentine's. but i was already above that. i don't need flowers, relationship and a date to feel good. in time it will come - i just know it.

and it did.

***

i opened the front door, looking out for the bus, when i saw a red envelope lying on our doorstep. and my day just became extra special. the cover said - to my darling and i knew who it was from.

what made this card extra special is that i thought we were just gonna celebrate a low-key day - buy some food and nibbles and have an indoor picnic valentine's celebration so naturally i didn't expect him to get me anything but he did anyway and i felt guilty that i didn't.

***

i can't wait to get home (i knew i will be home before him). i have to make up for the surprise card. so i decided to make him an instant valentine scrapbook page (it pays to get things even when you don't need it yet - for times like this).


he arrived carrying lots of nibbles and treats and a pot of red daisy! beats a bunch of cut roses anytime!

***

i love the simplicity and sincerity of our life together. it's as if we came from the same batch of dough mixture only one of us was exported or imported to a different place. everything about us is natural and right.

love is sharing our lives together.

spring - such a glorious time for picnics!

this is us on our first picnic ever

*yawn* ... sun and food makes me sleepy


martin on the move!

so here it is.... the photos i've been saving coz i wanted to make a collage... with brief comments along the way...

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Christchurch is known as the Garden City, so it is only appropriate that it would have the prettiest gardens and loveliest blooms. i remember when i first came here it was a big disappointment that the Garden City was so bare, brown and cold. not at all what i was expecting and came not to expect more of it on my return, but i was wrong.

as soon as the weather grew warm and sunny, blossoms started coming out, gardens came to life and the long wait for the roses was so worth it!


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The CAT SHOW

i don't think i've ever seen that many cats in one place! the cats were grouped according to their breeds and were evaluated for things like the texture of their fur, their eyes, their personality, the paws, teeth and everything that matters to a cat, basically. a lot of them are so pampered they have matching toys, towels, pillows, mat... oh the whole lot!


the smell wasn't that good but it was such a treat to be around lots of cute cats! we even got to stroke some of the friendly cats through their cage!

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SANTA Parade

i know it's a bit late for the Santa Parade photos but i did say these photos are all long, long overdue!

i had fun chasing after the floats around town with martin's mum and dad.

there are more photos collages to come... bear with me. i just need to take it out of my system. (that and... yeah ok, i didn't take all those photos for nothing!)

i have always written for comfort. it has been my therapy. i thought blogging would be a good outlet but it turned out i felt so restricted that i can't even write whatever i want to write. first and foremost because it's out there - anybody and everybody can read what i wrote. second, i'm so desperate to write something interesting - i mean, interesting enough so that other people will READ my blog. how lame is that? afraid to write something coz people might read it and yet also afraid that nobody is reading my blog!

plus, i dunno, for the longest time, i thought i have to chronicle my life through my blog. if something interesting happened, i have to write about it - complete with photos to show off for it. but sometimes for some reason i don't have the photos yet or i want to arrange them so that it remotely looks interesting that a few months have already past and yet i haven't posted whatever moment in my life i want to show to the world. and by then, it already feels stale and so i have a bottleneck of moments in my life i would have already shared but haven't and i don't know whether to just forget about the whole thing and start fresh or continue this pathetic cycle of trying to impress people by showing off where i've been to or what i've done...


mmmm...... let's see...