how many of us knows particular lines from movies we don't necessarily like but at least noticed? i am a sucker for movie lines and here are a few of them which rings a bell:

Ten Things I Hate About You

I hate the way you talk to me

And the way you cut your hair
I hate the way you drive my car
I hate it when you stare
I hate your big dumb combat boots
And the way you read my mind
I hate you so much it makes me sick -
it even makes me rhyme
I hate the way you're always right
I hate it when you lie
I hate it when you make me laugh -
even worse you make me cry
I hate it that you're not around
And the fact that you didn't call
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you -
not eve close, not even a little bit, not any at all
- Julia Stiles (Ten Things I Hate About You)

YOU complete me
- Tom Cruise (Jerry Maguire)

You had me at hello
- Reneé Zelwegger (Jerry Maguire)


You jump, I jump, remember?
- Kate Winslet (Titanic)


What's wrong with taking care of a woman?
She takes care of you.
- Brad Pitt (Meet Joe Black)


Kaibigan mo lang ako! And I'm so stupid of making the biggest
mistake of falling in love with my bestfriend!
- Jolina Magdangal (Flames)


Maybe your feelings are too strong your body weeps.
- Nicolas Cage (City of Angels)


You never say sorry for loving me.
- Claudine Barreto (Got to Believe in Magic)


That night on the phone?.... I'm pregnant.
- Janine Gerafalo (The Truth about Cats and Dogs)


I want you to have your own ideas, thoughts, feelings...
even when I hold you in my arms.
- 'dont know'


If you have something that's never been there before,
you should at least know what it is, right?
- Keanu Reeves (Something's Got to Give)


I would marry you yesterday!
- Jude Law (Music from Another Room)


If you wake up in the morning and all you can think
about is writing - then you're a writer...
- Whoopi Goldberg (Sister Act 2)


All those nothings meant a lot more to me than
so many somethings.
- Meg Ryan (You've Got Mail)


Do you have someone else?
... there is the dream of someone...
- Meg Ryan (You've Got Mail)


I make a lot of mistakes, a ton...
but I don't make them twice.
- Mona Lisa Smile


Not all that wonders are aimless
- Kirsten Dunst (Mona Lisa Smile)


Eight sees what everybody can't
- Patch Adams


feel free to add as many as you like. i havent seen a lot of movies. im sure there's a lot more out there...

Phone Ghost.

one lazy night, i was alone at the living room. my cellphone was beside our landline phone. suddenly my cellphone was ringing but it stopped before i can pick it up. i checked who miscalled me only to find our landline number registered there. that was so strange. i was alone in our living room and noone touched our landline phone. who could have called me?

Cemetary Switching.

my mum made plans to go to the cemetary on nov. 2 to join my aunts and uncles coz they said nobody's left to visit the departed loved ones during that day since most visit during nov. 1. so she went there early in the morning, sure that she has just enough time to catch them when they come. but she went home furious coz my aunts and uncles stood her up. she left past lunch but saw noone. when my aunt saw here a few days after that, her first greeting was "why didn't you come?" that made my mum even more pissed. she felt they were adding insult to injury. she refused to speak to them for weeks. when she has cooled down and was ready to listen, she learned that my aunts and uncles did go to the cemetary. maybe not at the same exact time that she did but they stayed there til the candles all melt out. meaning, that they would have met since the times would have overlapped. if they were there and my mum was there, how come they didnt see each other? they tried to ask and compare the scences and situations of the place when they came and it didnt match. the question is... if they were both at the same place at the same time, could one of them be at a different dimension?

they are not too spooky but still unexplainable.

our school showcased some of the best talents last night in a cultural presentation dedicated just for us. there's the marching band, the dance troupe (secondary and tertiary) and the chorale. i only got to witness a few numbers.

the marching band came a long way from their earlier sound. this time they sounded pleasing and entertaining (for most part). each member focused on giving a good performance - might be a little uptight but who cares? i commend their patience, perseverance and dedication. i hear them practice almost everyday. they're also asked to perform everytime there's a school event or just about any gathering. it must be pretty tiring but each time they stand up and deliver. well done kids!

i watch intently at master conductor sir, wondering how it feels to be up there, guiding all those talents, honing them and displaying the fruit of their labor? wonder how much of how they're playing is based on his waves or just practise? i know he's not yet an orchestra maestro but all great things happen in humble beginnings.

the dance troupe is also good. the secondary ones maybe less but still, you have to appreciate how they try to smile all through out the dance. that alone is a task. i noticed some of them weren't even smiling anymore. just merely showing their teeth. hehe. i noticed that the final pause of the tertiary dancers are more artistically executed and choreographed than the secondary. i particularly liked the pandanggo sa ilaw. the lightsman had a hard time blending how dark it should be to let the candles glow and how bright it should be to show the dancers's faces.

the chorale i didnt get to watch though. but one of their trainers sang accompanied by the marching band and he sounded great (although looked a bit conscious).

side comments:

there would always be someone who would try to bring others down and they would try to pass it as "constructive criticism". i don't think constructive criticism focuses on the flaws of a group you think is the "baddie's pet" while you sing praises to other's groups who doesn't sound or look all that good. if you are there to find faults, then you will find one. nobody IS perfect.

they want the marching band to have some choreography. yeah right! do that in a very small stage and let's see what happens to you. sometimes we just have to consider that there are limitations.

filipinos have bakya taste in music. haha! isn't that sweet. why is that so, you think? coz a lot of filipinos don't know where to get their next meal, you think they would care about you're so-called "good music"? i think not. not everybody can go to cultural concerts, heck! they can't even watch movies so they resort to piracy. filipinos, you said, have very shallow appreciation for music. yes, i guess they do. often those who are shallow are the happiest.

lately i've been feeling so stressed and down. i felt suffocated. i would get irritated and annoyed at the slightest change. basically i was not a very good person. i tried analyzing what i'm feeling, what i'm going through. i dont have any reason to be stressed at work coz this is the laziest days since i got here. my boss is very understanding and sometimes does some of my work (like calling offices) herself. everything's good at home. so what's bothering me? i realized i needed a change of scenery. go someplace else. i've been living through everyday of my life going to one place alone. *sigh* no wonder i feel so burnt out. so i decided to take the weekend off and go somewhere. anywhere. my feet (my bike, actually) took me to the beach. water. it soothes me. it is my home.

solitude.

i thought i was the only one at the beach but it turned out a lot of people have the same plan like i do. so i had to walk all the way to the farthest part of the shore to find a nice, peaceful, resting place.

peaceful.

there i sat, beside a nearly uprooted coconut tree and behind me are roots of a tree which is showing because the soil that was holding it was washed away. and a little more to my left is a very maroon, almost finished hotel. it looks beautiful. i can almost imagine someone shyly peeking through the slightly open japanese-inspired window. lovely.

in front of me, i gaze at the calm sea. blue. blue-green. green. different shades reflected from the sky. high above, the sky is blue. some parts dark - signs of showers to come. far ahead, i saw a faint glimmer of a rainbow. i thought it was the glass of my camera. but when i looked intently, it was a rainbow. fairly faint. almost a whisper. until little by little it appeared shyly - kissed by the sky, tickled by the sea.

soft drops of rain appeared suddenly. i rushed to a nearby cottage. i dont mind getting wet but my camera would.

daydream.

i lay on the bench, resting and enjoying being there, almost drowsing to sleep. you were there. always. whispering me to sleep, tickling my mind.

if i look hard enough, i can almost see you waving at me at the shore. beckoning me for a swim. maybe next time my darling.

glass crystal.

it stopped raining. time to take a walk and take pictures. i walked to the farthest corner of the beach. playing with the water. stroking my feet.

i remembered to look for something i've always wanted to find. jewelries in the sand. glass crystals. used to be broken glasses. polished by time to create something intimate and precious. i found one. white. pure. with interesting cuts.

im going back. not to the place, but to the experience. back to what's important. to what's real.

back to the basics.

i believe there's always a first time for everything.

as I've been too comfortable just driving around, i almost forgot that, yep... motorbikes need gas to function. hehe.

i was so worried when i warmed up the engine and realized that the fuel is nearly empty. i'm not even sure i can still get to work. luckily i still could and was even able to drive to town later that day to refill my fuel tank.

ok. like any other first times in my life - this one have to be quite embarrasing.

not knowing how lines are formed at the gas station, i just followed and joined in on the bike that was already there - not realizing that most vehicles are facing the other direction. the first few minutes it was ok.

i opened the seat,

to open:
- insert the ignition key into the lock and turn it clockwise until the lock is released.
- raise the seat by hand.

fuel tank cap
open: turn the cap counter clockwise.
close: turn the cap clockwise and tighten it securely


let the gasoline boy fill fuel.
Fuel level can be seen from the fuel meter in the panel. The fuel meter indicates the amount of gasoline remaining in the fuel tank.

F = The fuel tank is full
E = The tank is empty or nearly so fill the tank up to full level

a bit of caution from suzuki philippines, inc.:
- do not overfill the fuel tank. avoid spilling fuel on the hot engine
- turn off the engine while filling with fuel.
- do not smoke or lit the fire in the fuel filling area

to close the seat:

- push down firmly until the seat latch snaps into the locked position
- push down the seat until it "clicks"



now, the silly thing is i can't push my bike out of the line and start it somewhere else. wherever i turn, bumpers, hoods, cars, headlights are everywhere. *helmet-on mode!* luckily someone who looks like the manager came and helped me out - pulling the rear of my bike out and guided me away from the mess.

after flashing him the sweetest smile i can give, i hurriedly started my bike and off i go, away from the honking grumpy drivers. ner! ner!

helmets do come in handy. hehe.

The Land Transportation Office have been trying to be strict with the helmet on rule lately but only for long-distance driving (here).

A lot of drivers don't really wear helmet - it's so easy to follow suit. I mean, you get teased by wearing it, sometimes even mocked and you get snickers. I find it even sillier that not only do they don't wear helmets, when they do, they just put it in their handlebars. I guess the handlebars feel really, really safe. *snickers*

What good is wearing a helmet then?

1. Safety, of course! This is the foremost and most obvious reason. A lot of people have been saved by their helmets from death. Choose a helmet that's hard and strong enough to withstand the impact of the crash or even just a slight bump. The most apparent difference is the price. Understandably, the more expensive it is, the better quality you'll get. Tap the helmet. You'll know by the sound and feel if it's too thin or too soft to provide protection. Try it on. Get a feel of how it fits in your head. It should fit perfectly on you - not too tight, not too loose. If it's too tight, you will not be comfortable and if it's too loose, it will not give the protection you need.

2. Eye Protection. This especially apply for helmets with visors. Our eye have a very thin layer of protection and need to be shielded against sharp foreign objectes. If you caught something in your eye, don't rub it. It will only scratch your eye even more. Best thing to do is to wash it off by letting clean water flow from the inner canthus of the affected eye to the outher canthus to avoid transferring the dirt to the other eye. But if you're driving and can't stop to do that, you can just let your eye tear-up to wash it off.

3. Saving face. Wearing a helmet covers your face so that nobody will recognize you if you are ever in a very embarrasing situtation. hehe.

4. Cover your uncombed hair. Yep. it works like a cap. I just did that today.

hindi ba nakakainis na kalahating oras kang nagpapaikot-ikot sa isang area just to find a parking space para lang pagbalik mo makita mo ang motor na nakatambak sa isang tabi na parang kawawang basahan?

kagabi sobrang inis talaga ang inabot ko na isiniksik ang motor ko sa isang tabi, para lang maisaksak ang sandamukal na mga tricycle na bakit kasi nagpupumilit maki-park sa lugar na hindi sila ma-accomodate?

dagdag na pang-asar pa. alam na kasing palabas ako, may isa namang babaeng driver na bigla ring sumiksik sa lalabasan ko. grrrr talaga! sarap paghahampasin sa mukha!

awa ng diyos, nakalabas naman ako.

akala mo ba ayos na? hindi pa, noh? may pahabol pa. meron namang dalawang nagpupumilit pa ring maging sexy na mga mudra ang biglang tumawid! my gas! at para bang sarili nya ang mundo, ang isa ay parang may sayad na tumatawid at nakatingin sa kawalan. sarap sanang itapat sa tambutso ang legs. pasalamat sya dala nya baby nya.

at para namang nakakaloko talaga, ang kaliwang tuntungan ko ay medyo nakaangat. yon pala, kasi nga pinilit at siniksik sa gilid, tumama sa katabing motor at resulta? nagcrack yong rubber at medyo umangat. nakakapikon talaga. muntik na matanggal yong rubber na nakadikit sa tuntungan.

babait nyo! sana kunin na kayo ni lord.

oppsss.. joke only! land of peace and prosperity nga pala tayo. hehe

Welcome to the Land of Kasanggayahan

October 1 to 30, 2005
______________________
1-15
Sorsogon Idol Elimination - Bulan, Irosin, Pilar, Gubat and Sorsogon City

15-30
Food and Beverage Fair - Capitol Grounds, Sorsogon City

17-30
Kasanggayahan Trade Fair - Capitol Grounds, Sorsogon City
Photo Exhibit (Tourism Destinations) - Bulwagan ng Katarungan, Sorsogon City

19-21
Techno-Demo/Mini Conferences/Lectures - Capitol Grounds, Sorsogon City

22, 23, 29, 30
Kasanggayahan Tennis Tournament - Sorsogon Tennis Court
_____________________

14 (Friday)
6:00 a.m. - Kasanggayahan Island Caravan - Eco-tour Destinations
2:00 p.m. - Kasanggayahan Press Conference - Jollibee Foods

15 (Saturday)
6:00 a.m. - Kasanggayahan Island Caravan - Eco-tour Destinations
3:00 p.m. - PILI Cooking Demo - Near SOCIPECO Office
5:00 p.m. - Food and Beverage Fair Opening - Capitol Kiosk, Sorsogon City
7:00 p.m. - Concert - JEROME SALA - Provincial Gymnasium

16 (Sunday)
6:00 a.m. - Kasanggayahan Island Caravan - Eco-tour Destinations
7:00 p.m. - Inter-Municipality Boxing Tournament (First Semi Final) - Provincial Gymnasium

17 (Monday)
7:00 a.m. - Ecumenical Prayer and Worship - Capitol Grounds, Sorsogon City
8:00 a.m. - Foundation Day Thanksgiving Mass - Capitol Grounds, Sorsogon City
9:30 a.m. - Kasanggayahan Opening Ceremonies - Capitol Grounds, Sorsogon City
10:00 a.m. - Opening of Kasanggayahan Trade Fair - Capitol Kiosk
2:00 p.m. - Historico-Cultural Parade - Magsaysay to Rizal Street
7:00 p.m. - Concert - Capitol Park

18 (Tuesday)
9:00 a.m. - Symposium: Education as a vehicle for the promotion of the culture which is Kasanggayahan - DepEd Division Office, Conference Hall
7:00 p.m. - Boxing (2nd Semi-Final) - Provincial Gymnasium

19 (Wednesday)
8:00 a.m. - Kayak Competition - Bulusan Mountain Lake Resort, Bulusan, Sorsogon
7:00 p.m. - Boxing (3rd Semi-Final) - Provincial Gymnasium

20 (Thursday)
9:00 a.m. - "K" Young Entrepreneur's Forum - SUMC Laboure Hall
7:00 p.m. - Boxing - Provincial Gymnasium

21 (Friday)
7:00 p.m. - Beer Plaza - Sorsogon Rompeolas

22 (Saturday)
8:00 a.m. - Pilgrimage to the site of the First Mass - Siuton, Magallanes
7:00 p.m. - Magallanes Cultural Show - Magallanes Rizal Park
7:00 p.m. - Concert (City Government) - Sorsogon Rompeolas

23 (Sunday)
6:00 a.m. - Bancarerahan - Sorsogon Bay/Rompeolas
2:00 p.m. - DBC Exhibition - Balogon Sports Complex
7:00 p.m. - Nightly Cultural Presentation (Sorsogon City Cultural Group) - Capitol Park

24 (Monday)
8:00 a.m. - 5th "K" Heritage Lectures - Vicenta Hall
8:00 a.m. - Pinturahan- Kalinigan - SNHS Compound
7:00 p.m. - Nightly Cultural Presentation (Sorsogon State College) - Capitol Park

25 (Tuesday)
2:00 p.m. - Military Parade - Main Streets
7:00 p.m. - Nightly Cultural Presentation (DepEd Sorsogon City) - Capitol Park

26 (Wednesday)
7:00 p.m. - Nightly Cultural Presentation (DepEd Sorsogon Province) - Capitol Park

27 (Thursday)
9:00 a.m. - "K" Business Forum - Anecita Hall
7:00 p.m. - Nightly Cultural Presentation (CBTG Sorsogon City Cultural Group) - Capitol Park

28 (Friday)
7:00 a.m. - Motoriders Regional Jamboree - Balogo Sports Complex
6:00 p.m. - Oratorical Competition (Bicol Dialect) - Capitol Park

29 (Saturday)
7:00 a.m. - Motoriders Regional Jamboree - Balogo Sports Complex
2:00 p.m. - PANTOMINA SA TINAMPO - Magsaysay to Rizal Street
5:00 p.m. - Street Party - Capitol Park
5:00 p.m. - Royal Band Concert - Capitol Park

30 (Sunday)
5:00 p.m. - Holy Mass - Capitol Park
6:00 p.m. - Closing Ceremonials/Culminating Program - Capitol Park
8:00 p.m. - "Banggui nin Pasasalamat" (for working committees and sponsors) - Vicenta Hall

I am a very immature person.

Someone asked me to run for a position in the agency organization and I said I don't like delving with that kind of business. And he told me to grow up.

That made me pause. Grow up?

Does he mean I take responsibility? I do, I am.
Does he mean I take a stand. I will. I have.

or

Does he mean be cynical about how things are done? I'm not. I won't.
Does he mean complain and whine that everything is unfair? Been there. Done that.

what does he mean by that?

I have always disliked politics for the dirt that it is. No matter how much you talk and whine and complain and argue and fight and insult and protest and revolt and die... if we don't do our part to the best that we can do, it's useless. Why not take baby steps? Why not be just responsible for your own conscience? Why do we always have to look out for others' mistakes?

The votes have been casted. The decision have been passed. Let's get it over with.

The only way to stop an issue is to stop talking about it. Not say stop talking about it. Just stop. Period.

After my not so good crash and bruises, I've been a bit hesitant to drive. I particularly feel nervous when I hear a motorbike revving just like the way it sounded when I fell. It makes me uneasy and lots of not so good images flash to my mind. I often dream about crashing/falling off the bike again. This one time, I dreamt that all the cables just started to break and explode and the bike was falling into pieces. But it was such a dreamlike scenario that mostly I don't feel nervous at all. But of course I'm more anxious to drive awake.

It took me quite a while to get up on it and drive again and I was very, very tense that I went home feeling muscle pain. Even then, I wasn't able to drive to work (like I said I would) and have been making excuses like oh, it's going to rain, or the traffic would be so heavy. One week past and the bike just stood there at home, bored and cold.

Over the weekend, I made a promise to myself. I have to be brave, do it and just get it over with.

So I woke up really, really early one Monday morning (to avoid traffic) and braved it out. Gosh. Anybody who sees me must know I'm a newbie or that I'm very excited. My face must look both grinning and nervous at the same time. But the moment I went inside our school gate, I was so proud of my achievement. I made it. Yey!

It still feels weird to be honking my horn coz I feel like I'm showing off but I guess I'll get used to it.

Going home, I decided to get a taste of the traffic and crossing busy intersections. It took me forever to cross but once I passed through, it was major fulfilment. Of course the fact that some drivers really stopped and signalled me to pass is much help. Thank you fellow drivers.

*big grin*

Assessment

The morning after, more bruises appeared, the initial ones looked even worse.

Now I have time to check for any physical damage on my bike.

The front part have scratches. Minimal and not even noticeable - nothing a good wash and some armor oil won't fix.

Good thing nothing is damaged on the rear area too. This is the more crucial part of the bike since the engine and the gas tank are there. Except for the hood, no scratches here too. Yey! I must say it was a pretty good fall. :-)

All in all, it's perfectly fine and in good condition.


Fear Factor

For a few days after the accident, I developed a minor case of phobia towards driving and the sound of a revving motorbike. The only reason I get up in the morning to get my bike key is to warm the engine up. Aside from that, driving is the farthest thing from my mind.

I was always looking for excuses - rain, overslept, tired, monthly period - you name it!

But it got to the point when my mum questions when I'm going to drive again. Neighbors tease me when they see me walking - "why not use your bike?"

One nice-weathered weekend, I had no reason not to. So I took a deep breath, braved out my fear and took my bike out for a drive. I was so nervous, especially when buses and jeepneys overtake me and honk their horns. But I made it home safely and without further mishap. That gave me courage to try driving again the next days - but always after office hours only - when the traffic is lighter.

By now, I'm pretty much familiar with the instrument panel:

1. Speedometer. The speedometer indicates the road speed in kilometers per hour. This one is very interesting. I always have to look down and check how fast I'm going (even though I still drive pretty slowly) because my break-in period dictates that I shouldn't drive more than 40kph. Everytime someone passes me by, I just smile and tell myself - go on, drive past me, I'm still breaking in my "new!" bike. hehe.

2. Odometer. The odometer register the total distance that the motorcyle has been ridden. This is one silly part. Before the real first digit, there's a white number beside it. This meter tell me if I'm still within my break-in period or not. I knew I still have a long way to go coz the meter reads just over 200km. Just then my friend Lems exclaims and said "You're way over your break-in period! Look, it's already a couple thousand!" And daft me was worried that I haven't even changed the engine oil (when the first change oil should be on the 1st 500km) and now he's telling me I've already travelled 2,000km? I had to call everybody who drives motorcycles and they al told me that Lems is wrong. The first white number doesn't count as the first digit. It is the gear the jumpstarts the odometer. One full cycle counts to one kilometer. *whew!*

3. Fuel meter. The fuel meter indicates the amount of gasoline remaining in the fuel tank. The E mark indicates the tank is empty or nearly so. The F mark indicates the fuel tank is full. Lots of meters, huh? During this time, I haven't refilled gas on my own yet. The first time, it was my dad, the second time it was my sister's boyfriend. Wonder when it'd be my turn.

4. Neutral gear position indicator light. The light will be on neutral gear. This is my friend. This makes me feel safe that no amount of revving would make my bike fly.

5. Gear position indicator. The letter and numeral in this indicator show the gear position 1, 2, 3, 4. Ok, there was quite a confusion on this area. According to my dad, who's used to driving a motorbike with clutch, I should most often be on the 1st and 2nd gear coz the 3rd and 4th are pretty fast. So I had to drive around town for 2 weeks on the 1st and 2nd gears. No wonder my bike sounds funny, and whenever I press brakes, I jolt. This time Lems taught me the right one. He said that it is easier to control the last 2 gears since it won't fly you across the highway if you pull at it too hard. You must only use the 1st 2 gears on uphill roads.

6. Turn signal indicator light. When the turn signals are being operated either to the right or left side respectively right or left side indicator light will flash at same time. This one I had trouble doing while actually driving. Most of the time it doesn't turn on or if it does, I can't turn it off. That took some time getting used to.

7. High beam indicator light. The blue indicator light will be lit when the headline high beam is turned on position. This one I rarely have to notice since I seldom drive at night.

Now I know I can drive. The question is.. when can I drive to work?

Early morning, just moments after the sun peeped out, my dad and me went out for my second lesson. I was feeling confident about myself now. It'll be more like practice today. Gosh! I already had the bike moving/running several times. I just need to be familiar with the grips while driving and practice brakes. That's it!

Boy was I wrong!

After a few rounds and some practice on brakes, changing gears and turning around corners, my dad rode at the back. After a few balancing awkward moments, I got it right and he told me to drive out the oval to practice speeding up the gear with him riding. It's always ironic that when everything is right, something goes wrong.

We were at a stop, waiting for a car to pass by before starting the engine again to turn around. It must have been the balance, the cockiness or something else that got me revving the bike too much and couldn't stop even when I was griping the front brake. I can hear my dad saying (screaming, more so) "use the brakes, brakes, brakes!" All
the while I was trying to but it was just making things worse. It was either we fall down the cliff or fall off the bike. We knew which is the better option. So we fell off the ground, my left leg under the bike. Liquid spilling out of the tank. It didn't register to me first that we were already on the ground. I felt my dad get up and that's the only time I tried to get up too. When we were both standing and the bike too, we realized the liquid is gas. Good thing it wasn't because the tank was damaged or open, just from the overflow pipe. The couple of rounds my dad drove the bike first. I was still pretty shaken. I can't see my legs yet (wearing jogging pants) but I can feel something is starting to feel sore.

When he felt that I'm well again to drive, he let me but didn't ride with me this time. He figured I'm not ready yet to take a rider.

I was able to circle the bigger and the smaller oval a few times. Someone (who's jogging around) told me to ease up a bit to which I only smiled. Didn't want to be distracted but in my mind I was saying, who can relax when you just nearly fell off the cliff? But I was not annoyed, actually glad for the concern and advise.

Then we went home.

This time I saw the bruises and didn't look good. One purplish-blue round on my lef leg, a few minor scratches on the left knee, two swollen parts on the right.

I didn't mind getting bruises. I was glad for the wake-up call. Just hope it wouldn't leave marks.

Driving Site

A newly constructed diversion road is my driving lesson site. It is located just across the entrance to our place. Few vehicles drive through it yet. Smooth pavement and clear area. An oval to practice my navigation, turning left and right and doing a U-turn, using signals, brakes and shifting gears.

Part I: Driving Lesson
Straight from Legazpi, raining non-stop 'til afternoon, I got home and was a bit disappointed that I might not be able to have my first lesson.

When it finally started to stop and the sun shyly shone from behind the clouds, my dad decided it's time for my lesson (before it starts raining again) and so we drove to the newly paved diversion road.

Nervous, anxious, excited, eager... mixed emotions. I had no prior knowledge on driving a motorbike. But I know how to drive a bike. That helped, especially with the initial balancing. :-)

We started out with the basics - familiarization of all the functions/parts of the motorbike.


Of course before going into action, we must first turn the ignition switch on. Blowing up No. 6 on our locator chart: The ignition switch has three positions:
1.) "OFF" position = All electrical circuits are cut off.
2.) "ON" position = All electrical circuits are available.
3.) "Lock" position = To lock the steering.


Ok. Now how do we lock our motorbike:


How to lock:
- Turn the handlebar all the way to the left.
- Push down and turn the key to the "LOCK" position and remove the key.

How to unlock:
- Hold the handle
- Turn the key to the "OFF" position


Initial lecture finished, I'm ready to try driving. The first few times, I had to work out with the throttle grip. Make it start but not too much. That done, I had to balance when it starts moving. After a couple of tries, I was driving for the first time!

Wow! what a feeling! Slicing through the air and riding with the wind. After 2 rounds around the oval, my dad then asked me to speed up the gear shift, which I did. It was awkward and a little unsteady/bumpy at first.

We prepared to go home just when clouds are heavily setting and is threathening another rainfall.

That's it for my first driving lesson, which I aced, I think. :-)

I had no idea I was going to buy a motorbike this soon. I always had it in my head to be more mobile one of these days but was just waiting to finish with prior financial commitment before starting with one. Guess part of changing is being spontaneous.

Looking back, what really are my reasons to buy a motorbike?

To Save - with the continuous fare increases, it is nearly impossible to even have something extra for a minimum-waged-employee to save, and that is talking only of the least number of rides for a day. Sometimes I wouldn't even go out unless I really have to. I know most people wonder why this is such a turn-on to buy a motorbike when you also have to spend on gas, which is also everly increasing anyway (which is actually the main reason why fares are increasing). Before I even seriously considered buying, I asked friends if it is really economical. Everybody said yes and strongly recommended that I push through with it.

Time - this is personal. I've been feeling that I'm wasting a lot of time sitting on a vehicle while the driver scouts around for passengers. I don't blame them, it's their source of income but it doesn't mean I have to persistently be annoyed almost everyday of my life. And that's just one part. I also have to wake up and prepare early during weekdays to avoid traffic. Not that I will be late but because drivers refuse to take me, avoiding the drive through the traffic area that is my workplace. Just imagine the annoyance and sometimes pity I feel for myself when I'm standing alone waiting for one driver who (a) knows me; (b) has no other choice but to take me; (c) who doesn't know where I work; and as if waiting is not enough (just imagine me there waiting in the rain) I sometimes encounter grumpy drivers who roll their eyes upon knowing where I'm going. And I also find that it prevents me from maximizing my time. I have to go home before the last trip or else I have to pay for all passenger capacity of the vehicle just to go home. That also falls under saving.

Safety - I always believe that wherever you are, whatever you're doing, accident happens. So I am not saying I'm safer from it by driving. It's quite the contrary because I'm more at risk. But when I said safety, it's safety from abuse or assault especially when I'm travelling alone at night. I had at least two encounters where I almost jumped out of a moving vehicle just because the driver decided to use a different route.

These are the topmost reasons I considered before buying a motorbike.

Once I have decided, we went out to canvass and look out for one that's affordable and fairly decent.

Before buying, my bike-related knowledge is zero so I let my dad and the sales clerk talk about the technical stuff. If it's new and it's working, I'm fine with it. Well, of course I also asked a friend for some recommendations.

And here is what I chose:

SUZUKI SMASH 110 - my new baby
Brand: Suzuki Motorcycle
Model: FD110XCDU
Engine No.: E433-306815
Chassis No.: BE 495-206776
Color: Blue-Black

As a neophyte rider, I have no other comparison or personal judgement regarding my bike. I wouldn't even be able to reason why I bought it. But I'm glad I did and I'm happy to have it. Going home, riding at the back (my dad driving coz i dont know how to drive yet), I'm very proud of myself - to have accomplished something and purchased (well.. loaned) something on my own.

As I mentioned safety, I have to be safe. This safety helmet is by far the coolest one in town because (1) it's probably the newest out on the street right now and (2) it's mine! hehe. The visor is tinted for protection from glare, there are airholes on top (around the forehead ared) and on the mouth/nose area. The background color goes well with any shade of clothing as it is mostly white with minimal design. The inside is really fitted on the head with very little room for movement but is cushioned with foam covered with soft material.

I used to be self-conscious wearing it because most riders here don't wear one or those who do will be driving a very long distance - not just going to the office which is a merely 2km drive. Sometimes I get teased - about being too safe and/or too made-up. It sometimes gets me - I'm still a very insecure rider. But I have two nagging people who wouldn't let me succumb to the teasing. And I'm proud to annouce that I have now converted one of them to wear a helmet. Yey!

subject: goodbye

... am afraid this will be the last time u will hear from me...

I didnt see it coming. i just thought he was busy.

this is not the first time he said goodbye. the last time it was purely my fault. it was clear from the start how private he is, how he values his own time and space.. no strings attached. i thought we were close enough to overstep that but i was wrong. we sailed through that. i promised i wont be as needy and clingy, that i will behave myself. and so i became the most precious online friend, his confidante.

deep inside me i know this is not forever. i have no imagination that this could ever go somewhere longer than it should be. i just didnt know it would happen this way, this soon.

he didnt even say why or why now? he just did.

i feel like maybe i am a reminder of his past that he desperately wants to forget... not me, just his past. he worked his way through college and beyond. he believes that education will give him the respect and recognition that he values so much, that maybe he didnt get earlier in life. and along the way, he has to do everything.. been everywhere. and sometimes i envy him that. i envy him the knowledge of life.. the real, hard, unforgiving life. it made him strong and determined.

the odd part is.. it wouldn't have mattered if i never heard from him again. i know how busy he is and how everything is changing for him now. but to actually hear from him one last time but only to say goodbye... it came as a shock. should i be glad that at least i must mean something to him to show an effort to say goodbye? but still.. it is goodbye.

but i have no choice. it is not for me to think upon, to argue against.

wherever he is, i wish him well. this is where and what he's always wanted.

i am sad that another friend has to say goodbye again... just because things got better in their life.

i just hope i made their journey a little bit more interesting and easier for them. that in the credits of their life, i'd be there, albeit fleeting.

goodbye, oleg. may you find the happiness and love that you deserve.

An elderly lady called for me the moment I stepped out of the tricycle and asked what I would be registering. I'm surprised coz I don't know her and why would she automatically assume I'm registering something? Well.. must be my uniform. :-)

After the little surprise but a nice icebreaker, I went inside the Land Transportation Office and read the bulletin on application for Licensing. It said, Step 1, Window 3 for requirement validation (but didnt' list what the requirement(s) is/are). Uh-oh... minus point. The personnel at window 3 asked for my birth certificate, walked away from the window and I had wait for I guess 5 minutes before she returned. Must have been her toilet break. When she returned, she gave me an application form and asked me for P20. Uhmm.... well.. uhmm... gee! that was for the license jacket. I didn't know. Thanks for the info. (oh.. by the way, the license doesn't fit inside the jacket, so what's this for again?)

After paying and filling the form, I submitted it and was told to sit down and wait. No available chair so I decided to just lean on the table near the transaction windows. And I noticed (felt!) how hot it was inside the office. So, with the heat and sweat - the long wait continuous...

After around 20 minutes, Window 6 (that's for data capturing) called and I was asked to stand still and look at the camera, after which I signed on the electronic sign pad/thingy then proceeded to Window 1, which is the Director's Office, for approval of my application and thought it was fairly quick. :-) Good point now. Negating the two demerits they got earlier.

From the Director's Office, (who didn't say where to next - that's why they have the bulletin, silly!) I went to Window 4 (as the good man ahead of me instructed) and again, was told to sit and wait. Good thing there's now available seat. All's well. After a while of waiting, my name was called again this time to pay for the license fee (P127.50) and then told to sit and wait to be called again.

So I waited and at last... when my name was called, there was my student permit being handed to me. yey!

Whew! generally..it was faster than i thought. :-)

June - not only is it the month of weddings but also the month for our Pili Festival and City Fiesta celebration. Lots of activities going on everyday. Wish I took pictures of the ones I saw or went to but as usual - same old forgetful me. Well, yep.. ok... I admit I was also busy with someon-... something else. *winks*

There's Search for Miss Sorsogon, band shows here and there, street dancing, oldies' day out, Beer Plaza and a lot more. There are also stalls/booths of different agencies and groups built on the capitol kiosk and lots of people from around the city and nearby municipalities came to buy, look around, relax and make the most of the holidays.

I was one of them regular visitors of the park/kiosk as me and my friends hand out there. There are many nice native products that, if I wasn't on a tight budget, I would have bought loads.

The few things I wasn't able to resist are:


Left is a bouquet of dried flowers and twigs carefully handcrafted by mothers during their livelihood trainings, placed in a vase
of commendable workmanship. The vase is made of halved pili kernels, patiently painted with rustic gold and glued together to create this intricate design. Right is a similarly dried flower but of smaller size and simpler design.

Clays of different sizes and designs were also all over the place. This simple medium-sized clay lamp have star-shaped holes to let the glowing yellow light out. Lit in the darkness of my room, it helps my mind wonder and imagine of places and people far away.


We also went to the Beer Plaza held at the Rompeolas with two bands (supposedly from Manila, but I'm just not so sure) keeping the people entertained.

Neither me nor my friend,Fatima drink (unless "forced" to) so we just had cali which comes free with the tickets (3 beer for 1 ticket). It's but natural for Filipino entrepreneurs to make the most of the situation but P3 for 1 piece of fishball? wow! that's too much! For such supposedly shrewd businessmen, I wonder why it's still taking us very slowly to get there.

Good thing that we weren't that hungry and just wanted something to nibble while listening to the band play.

It's been a while since I've been to band shows so I was excited. They were good, although not in the rock-on-head-bang-girls-screaming kind of good but still overall good.

The second group was an R&B/HipHop which the guys on our table didn't really like. They played upbeat, dance-and-sweat-your-booty-off-the-seat songs which at first kept the crowd silent and sort of caught off guard after the hotel-california-finale of the first band. But after a while, they were grooving and singing along especially when the group did love songs.

We weren't able to finish the second set of the show coz I had to go home early. I heard though, that the girls from the Hip Hop group took off their tops towards the end of the show. Well, that's one thing we missed but I'm sure didn't regret. hehe

The fiesta day itself was an activity-filled day. Bought a brand new motorbike (which I'm going to discuss in detail in the following post), went to my friend Fati's house and ate a lot and showed my butterfly tattoo the whole day!

I forgot to mention that among the new things I had was a henna tattoo of a butterfly in my right shoulderblade area, which is rarely seen coz I wear uniform to work so I took the holiday opportunity to show it off. I was wearing a halter top and tied my hair in a pigtail.

It's starting to fade now and pretty soon it will just be a memory of my "wild" days. lol! wild? yeah, right.

New Finds, Good Finds. Some will fade, others will last.

One good thing is for sure - the memory will last forever...

(that is if I don't get alzheimer) :D

I've never really "played" guitar before but I've learned how to read chords using a smaller and simpler string instrument - the ukelele.

It was a requirement for Grade VI music to play during the flag ceremony every day.

Always had it in my mind since then to take it a notch higher and play the real thing - the guitar. Long story short, there was always something else more important than a guitar so I wasn't able to buy until recently, as a graduation gift for my sister. Music is one of the things we share.


At first it was relearning the chords, then strumming properly. Two days of playing and my fingers are sore. I can feel callus starting to form. Pretty soon it was painful to press the strings to get the chords properly and make it sound even remotely nice.

I practised playing easy ones like Back for Good by Take That. I played it over and over until I was ready for a performance.



I still have a lot to learn. I'm not yet good but I'm a step closer.

Practice makes perfect.

We'll see about that. :-)

Bob Carlisle and Randy Thomas

There's two things I know for sure.
She was sent here from heaven,
and she's daddy's little girl.
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night,
she talks to Jesus, and I close my eyes.
And I thank God for all of the joy in
my life, Oh, but most of all, for...

Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer.
Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair.
"Walk beside the pony
daddy, it's my first ride."
"I know the cake looks funny,
daddy, but I sure tried."
Oh, with all that I've done wrong,
I must have done something right
To deserve a hug every morning,
And butterfly kisses at night.

Sweet sixteen today,
She's looking like her momma
a little more everyday.
One part woman, the other part girl.
To perfume and makeup,
from ribbons and curls.
Trying her wings out in a great
big world. But I remember...

Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer.
Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair.
"You know how much I love you daddy,
But if you don't mind,
I'm only gonna to kiss you on
the cheek this time."
With all that I've done wrong
I must have done something right.
To deserve her love every morning,
And butterfly kisses at night.

All the precious time
Like the wind, the years go by
Precious butterfly
Spread your wings and fly

She'll change her name today.
She'll make a promise,
and I'll give her away.
Standing in the bride room
just staring at her,
she asked me what I'm thinking,
and I said "I'm not sure,
I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl."
Then she leaned over....and gave me....

Butterfly kisses, with her mama there
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair
"Walk me down the aisle, daddy, it's just about time"
"Does my wedding gown look pretty, daddy?"
"Daddy, don't cry."
Oh, with all that I've done wrong,
I must have done something right
To deserve her love every morning,
And butterfly kisses
I couldn't ask God for more, man, this is what love is
I know I've gotta let her go, but I'll always remember
Every hug in the morning, and butterfly kisses...

Jas and Dabs
May 18, 2005
Fatima Church, Sorsogon City

hmmm... talk about times changing and me getting older *sigh* and the nagging question of "when will your wedding be?"

But let's not deal with that today.

My friend had an off-shoulder white gown. Beaded neckline and long train of headdress flowing behind her. Her hair was swept up held together by pearls around with big curls that looks like scraped butters. We were guessing if it's her real hair coz we all know she has short hair. heh! Maybe she grew it for the wedding.

The ceremony is already starting when we (Nanay, me and my sister) came. We didn't get to see her walk down the aisle. I noticed the groom was perspiring too much, which (from what I've observed from past weddings I've attended) is common to the grooms. I think the men look more anxious during their wedding than the women, which of course has to be the "prettiest" girl in the room. *smiles* That's her "day".

Reception was held near the bride's house. Garden-theme. Each table was accentuated with candles placed inside medium-sized japanese lanterns. Flowers adorned around it. The newlyweds were sitted at the far side, towards the center of the garden. Table draped with golden-yellow satin fabric. Food is served at the tables before the guests arrived but still more at the buffet table for second servings, or third, or fourth. It would have been more romantic if we went there later in the afternoon or early in the evening. But all in all, the air is filled with love.

I didn't join (I never did ever) the single, female friends gathered for the bouquet. Instead of the bride throwing it, they tied the flowers with ribbons and gave the other end to each lady. At the count of three, the ladies will pull the ribbons at the same time the bride lets go of the bouquet. One of the principal sponsors got the end tied directly to the flowers. Excitement rose when one of the male principal sponsors (allegedly) is also single. Yet again, instead of the groom throwing the garter, they gathered the guys in a circle while the garter is tossed around to a tune. When the music stops, the guy holding the garter will in turn stretch it up to the female sponsor's right leg. Everyone enjoys a good laugh.

After the cake has been sliced, the wine shared and the doves were freed, it was time for well-wishers.

Love, endless. Respect each other. By summary those were the pieces of advise given to the newlyweds.

A CD with their collection of love songs were given as a souvenir to guests.

Because of You
Butterfly Kisses
For You
That's All I Ask of You
I Could Not Ask for More
Love Moves in Mysterious Ways
You're Still You
Because You Love Me
Destiny
So It's You
I Finally Found Someone
Thank You Love

Beautiful songs. A Promise of Love.

...dreams

Love Moves In Mysterious Ways
Nina

Who'd have thought this is how the pieces fit
You and I shouldn't even try making sense of it
I forgot how we ever came this far
I believe we had reasons but I don't know what they are
Don't blame it on my heart, oh

Love moves in mysterious ways
It's always so surprising
When love appears over the horizon
I'll love you for the rest of my days
But still it's a mystery
How you ever came to me
Which only proves
Love moves in mysterious ways

Heaven knows love is just a chance we take
We make plans but then love demands a leap of faith
So hold me close and never never let me go
'Cos even though we think we know which way the river flows
That's not the way love goes, no


Like the ticking of a clock two hearts beat as one
But I'll never understand the way it's done, oh

Love moves... in mysterious ways....


It does, doesn't it? *smiles* I've always believed I'm a hopeless romantic in love with love only maybe more sensible than others. But there was a time in my life when believing in fairytales didn't fit or make sense when everything and everyone are blinded with "what's normal."

Bit by bit the star just became dimmer and dimmer until it's life got lost in the sea of routinary living. I started working and stopped playing - ceased to read, ceased to write (unless it's a report I have to submit or an ill feeling I have to sort out), ceased to question, ceased to be silly, ceased keeping up-to-date with new songs and memorizing them, ceased to inspire or be inspired, ceased to dream, ceased to bloom ...

Anywhere but Here...

Wherever or whatever *here* means. Somehow I felt so out of
place, like some oddball in the cosmic balance of the universe.

But...

"Life has a funny, funny way.. of helping you out..."

Alanis Morisette anyone? The original angst queen way before we
even heard of Avril Lavigne or Ashlee Simpson? Well, her song
Ironic from the Jagged Little Pill which won her a Grammy Award
for Album of the Year has that line ... life has a funny way of
helping you out... I wouldn't just agree but would even say, life
has a cheeky, cheeky way of helping me out. *winks*

Anywhere but Here = There's Nowhere I'd Rather be Than Here

When you take all the oddness, the weirdness and dullness from
anywhere but here, multiply it to the infinity of magical random
moments, you arrive at a life so rich that there's nowhere I'd
rather be than...


... here

I thought I was doing just fine until now - until YOU.

*thank you*

What would happen to the world if we stopped creating music? If suddenly everybody just became silent? I don't even wanna go there.

Just out of randomness.. who was the very first composer and what did he write about? What inspired him to write such song? And when was that? If anybody knows... please tell. Free me from this misery. Lol! Ok.. so I went too far. Everybody is allowed to do that once and a while (or for some more often).

I just wondered coz it's already 2005 and still new songs are being composed, new tunes are sang, new ideas still born. I wonder if there will ever come a time when composers ran out of materials to write about? Or will there be a time when music is no longer relevant? That it becomes just so-and-so. I refuse to think of such time. I'm glad human life span assures me of not knowing such time if it ever will exist. I'm happy knowing that my frailty gives me the insight to appreciate the little things in life.

Music and Madness. I remember this phrase yet im not sure if it's a song title, album title or artist name? haha! I tried looking... if it's a song, i didn't find the lyrics to it.

There's just something so nostalgic about those two words. Music and Madness. Why music and madness?

*walks aways wondering...*

PASSAGES: Predictable Crises of Adult Life by Gail Sheehy

In here she tried to make a generalization of the apparent changes in human life. Sounds interesting... *flipping pages* ... Pulling up roots.. yep, I understand... that was me breaking free... Trying Twenties (still there)... Catch-30... and the list goes on.

Change. Metamorphosis. Evolution. (Reincarnation?)

It happens everyday, it's actually happening now. Me.. doing Blog. Blog eh? Like papers and pens is not enough nowadays.. now we have blog. With all the privacy clauses in contracts and how paranoid we've become.. yet I am here, trying out my first post, letting everyone into my private space... *well, not the whole of it but glimpses*

2005. Year of the Rooster. What was it they predicted for this year? I don't remember. But I know that it's looking good for me. I feel like a caterpillar, coming out of her cocoon ready to become a beautiful butterfly.

Butterfly
Mariah Carey

When you love someone so deeply
They become your life
Its easy to succumb to overwhelming fears inside
Blindly I imagined I could
Keep you under glass
Now I understand to hold you
I must open up my hands
And watch you rise

Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly

I have learned that beauty
Has to flourish in the light
Wild horses run unbridled
Or their spirit dies
You have given me the courage
To be all that I can
And I truly feel your heart will
Lead you back to me when you're
Ready to land

Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly

I can't pretend these tears
Aren't over flowing steadily
I can't prevent this hurt from
Almost overtaking me
But I will stand and say goodbye
For you'll never be mine
Until you know the way it feels to fly

Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
Fly... to the sun If you should return to me
I will know you're mine
We truly were meant to be
Spread your wings and fly
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly



*flutters around* Ah... the world is such a wonderful place.

Take the time to smell the roses...

happy blogging and eavesdropping!